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To live with love is to identify what healthy and equal relationships are and to experience that with yourself and others.

To Love is being able to give and receive love equally.

To Love Is To Know Peace

Healthy Equal Relationships

Culturally we previously had the knowledge of healthy equal relationships but lost it through the generations. Some of us have grown up in an environment where this was not shown to us. Fortunately with some patience and effort these values can be relearned - especially when we go back to the teachings of our grandmothers and grandfathers.

Examples of Healthy and Equal Relationships
You have examples of healthy relationships in your life, perhaps with your brothers, sisters, parents, grandparent or even a teacher that notices
your special talents. The best relationships are the ones that are balanced and are promoting wellness for all.

In balanced relationships:
Northern Direction (spiritual)
Both boys and girls feel important and are treated as equals.
Trusting that within myself is the strength to have a healthy relationship.
Using the culture and medicines to learn about healthy ways of relating.
I can speak the truth with an open heart.
Taking time for and developing a relationship with myself.

Western Direction (emotional)
It is safe to share my feelings and know you l will be listened to.
Listening to her when she shares her feelings.
Having healthy boundaries.
It feels good to have someone like me the way I am.
Being there for my friend when she feels sad.

Eastern Direction (physical)
Getting the permission of my friend or girlfriend before hugging her or touching her.
Learning from healthy role models how to be kind to her.
I can admire her beauty.
I can give her space to grow and discover herself.

Southern Direction (mental)
My ideas are important. Like when I make suggestions of activities to do with my family or friends.
Taking the time to know her.
Talking things out calmly without raising my voice.
I stop and think before I do or say anything to harm or hurt her or my friend.
I learn to listen to myself and the new ways of relating I am learning.
When I share my thoughts with someone, I could learn a lot and even make a new friend.


Healthy and Informed Choices

The first part of making good decisions involves gathering information. Often because we have been hurt or disappointed before, we may not make the best choices for ourselves. That’s why it is good to have resources like an adult we like or feel safe with to talk to about what’s bothering us. Or by trying to find out from your friends how they might handle issues. Even reading this website is about getting more information to make healthier decisions for yourself. 

In the northern direction of the medicine wheel we learn about detachment. The eagle and the mouse are brothers in some teachings because they practice two ways of working with the mind. The eagle flies the highest so he is able to see things from a distance (this is called detachment), the mouse sees everything close up so is able to see all the little details. These are two excellent ways we can use our minds to gather information to make better decisions for ourselves. We can look at the bigger picture by getting some distance and examine all the details by looking up close. If we make a mistake, we can go back and look at the information again through the eyes of experience. There is always an opportunity to go back and make changes in our behaviour based on the testing of our knowledge and our actions.



Ontario Federation of Indian Friendship Centres Pallas Communications