How do I stop abuse?
You have to talk about what’s happening to you. It may be hard, it may be embarrassing but telling someone is the only way it will stop. Parents, elders, teachers, neighbours, police officers, and doctors can help you. If you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone you know you can always get help by calling the Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868. The person hurting you will tell you that they will hurt you more or hurt someone you care about if you tell. They say this because they know what they are doing is wrong and that if you tell someone they will get in trouble.
Who can I talk to?
Talk to an adult you trust. If they don’t believe you talk to someone else until action is taken. Talk to a parent, elder, teacher, counsellor, neighbour, police officer or doctor. The sooner you talk to someone, the sooner the abuse will stop. If you are scared you can call the Kid’s Help Phone for advice at 1-800-668-6868. If its an emergency call 911.
What will happen to the abuser?
A person who hurts another person will get the help they need. It may be counselling to help them work with their anger or in more serious cases they could go to jail.
What if a friend is being hurt?
Talk to the person who is being abused and be there as a shoulder to lean on. Remind them that its not their fault. Encourage them to seek help no matter what and keep encouraging them until they do something to stop the abuse.
How do I get a bully off my back?
Growing up is tough, tougher if you have to deal with a bully. It’s important to talk to an adult you trust. Bullies often have their own problems and are unable to work through their feelings so they take it out on other people instead. Try things like ignoring the bully and simply walking away, even try using jokes when confronted. Bullies who can’t scare you will often give up. If they continue you should talk to a school counsellor or teacher for help.
Why do we get angry?
Everyone gets angry or mad sometimes. It could be hormonal changes causing mood swings. It could be that you are a person who feels their emotions strongly. You may also behave the way you’ve seen older role models act. Sometimes people who get mad are acting on emotions that they aren’t sharing. In any case it is important to understand how to control your anger.
What if my anger is out of control?
If you are getting into a lot of fights or always feel mad inside you might need help working through your anger. Parents, teachers, and counsellors are great listeners and can help you identify reasons for your anger. If you don’t want to talk to someone you know the Kids Help Phone is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week by phone or online.
Just remember that anger is a normal emotion but learning how to work with it and keep it under control is all part of growing up. Asking for help can be the bravest thing you do.
Am I in a healthy relationship?
Boyfriends and girlfriends, and even friends need to have boundaries. Having boundaries is a way of making sure that your friends and boyfriend or girlfriend treat you with respect and don’t make you feel uncomfortable. Young girls should understand their rights and know how they should and shouldn’t be treated by a boyfriend. No one should tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, what you should wear or where you can go. A healthy relationship is one where you support each other, make each other feel safe and treat each other with kindness and respect. Friends and boyfriends should never make you feel bad about yourself by putting you down and should NEVER physically hurt you. If you feel uncomfortable with the way your boyfriend treats you, ask a role model for guidance. Always trust your gut feelings. If you feel unsafe with someone, get out of the relationship.
Does abuse leave a mark?
Abuse doesn’t always leave scars you can see. Certain types of abuse like verbal and emotional abuse cause damage inside you. These are the kind of marks that are hard to see. Marks like bruises, cuts, burns and scrapes are easy to recognize while emotional scars can go unnoticed. A girl who’s father puts her down may not have cuts or bruises but is hurting her just the same.